It’s bedtime.
No. It’s 35 minutes past bedtime, but, whatever.
I start improvising a bedtime story as soon as my 2 kiddos are finally snuggled in bed, “The sky is blue an-“
Thia: “No Mama. You mean -mama – you mean the steps. Mama the steps.”
Me: “Ok the steps are blue. And the sky i-“
Thia: “Mama tell Alex to be quiet.”
Me: “Alex, please stop humming. Anyway, the sky is blue and full of stars. And -“
Thia, speaking matter-of-factly: “No. If it was full of stars then it’s dark blue.”
Me, getting just a little impatient: “And the night is upon us”
Thia, questioning me: “What is upon us?“
Me: “It means it’s night-time now.”
Thia: “The sky is upon us?”
Me: “No, the night is upon us.
Thia: “But, but- the sky is the night. And the morning is-”
Interrupting her because I sensed she was just wasting time and was going to start gibberish, I said, “There was a big house. A very big house and – Alex, please lie down. Thia stop touching your brother and turn around.”
Alex: “Mama. Mama what’s …upon us؟”
Thia, in that big-sister voice: “It means night, Alex.” Then quickly, “Mama, there is a new friend in our class.”
Me: “What’s her name?”
Thia: “Cozy”
Me: “Her name is Cozy? Okay. Fine.”
Thia: “Can she come to my birthday?”
Me, exhaling slowly: “Yes. So, the house is full of mice! Bi-“
Alex, angrily: “It’s MY Birthday!!”
Thia, teasing him: “No Alex, your birthday is in September.”
Alex starts whining, ignoring him I continue: “Big mice, little mice, brown mi-“
Thia: “But mama, the house should be full of people.”
Taking a deep breath and straining not to yell, “Can you just let me tell the story? Please.”
Thia: “Yes.”
Alex starts chanting in a whisper: “Storyyyy storyyyy storrrrrryyyy”
Me: “Ok. So the mice were a big happy family. Living in the house. But th-“
Alex: “Mama I want waterrrrr.”
Thia: “Oh me too. Mama pleeeeeeeease can I have some water too?”
….
Yes, my kid slept with face-paint on. Judge me. I dare you.
An hour later. Alex is in dreamland. And –
Thia: But I don’t wanna sleep!”
Me, whispering to my myself: God, please give me the strength not to kill anyone today.
Thia: what?
Me: “Oh my GOD! Turn around and go to sleep!”
Thia: “But mama, why are you yelling?”
Me: Bye Thia. Good night. See you tomorrow.
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